Monday, January 09, 2012

recurring memories...

More than a decade back on this date… one knew that this was the beginning of the end!

Actually one knew, but it had not registered/ was not acknowledged, so to say… even as one dangled between “request for euthanasia” and “denial of an impending reality”

She had belched out black liquid the whole night, while I had tried to clean it as much as I could – numbed – a defense- in my ability to experience emotions

… and then somehow/ from-somewhere, these two angels had arrived… as medicos, they had taken over the charge to see her go peacefully, without pain. They had hosted the drip on the wall above our bed, had taken responsibility to be there – shift-by-shift…
… till she departed

Two days later from today:

- An 11-year old kid had gone to the terrace to perform songs to an imagined audience – to be called back to say the final ‘good-bye’

- An alumnus/student from ’93 batch had visited us, and had said “.. can’t imagine this!!” – he had called and informed many others

- That night an EL-top wet-night had suddenly got disbanded on the sound of the ambulance, which was to carry the body to the morgue

- Many friends had come to just be there/ support – but had stayed back knowing that I needed them then

- I had gone to my balcony and had shed a tear... and uttered a prayer…

- etc…

Lives happen…

this has been mine!

4 comments:

PP said...

a tear rolled down my cheek when i read this... wish i could say i empathize... but nobody can ever understand the pain...

Amal said...

I knew you both .....and Ravi.. my batchmate.Visited Mahanagar where they had their home.
Were to be for that much time and move on..only memories remain and look for their shadows in so many of them..rest yourself on the nearest shoulder till it also gives way..regards/Amal

Ajju said...

No words to describe my feelings.. So many memories.. Remember my last conversation with her, when you were in Mumbai at Abhijit's place. Probably I was unable to handle my emotions, and said something, to which she complaibed to you - Madhular, bahut daant ta hai ye.. And then the sad news..

She will be gratified and proud of the way Bitti has come up :-)

Monty said...

Life is a journey, not a destination. And this life, no matter short or long, is only a part of the longer journey...yes, lives happen!